ARTS COMMENTARY

When it comes to Christmas shows, most are so sickingly sweet you might as well just pour a 5-pound bag of sugar directly down your throat instead.

You know the ones I’m talking about; they overdose on sentimentality, tugging on your heartstrings the way a bratty kid insistently tugs on his parent’s sleeve, demanding he or she buy him a certain toy.

“The SantaLand Diaries,” playing at the Florida Repertory Theatre through Dec. 31, is the perfect antidote to that.

Based on an essay by satirist David Sedaris and adapted for the stage by Joe Mantello, this one-man show relays the experience of being a Macy’s elf one December.

To put it bluntly, David, played by Jason Parrish, doesn’t exactly have the right disposition to be an elf in Santa- Land. But he’s out of work, running out of money, and desperate. So, he applies.

Amazingly, he gets the job, even though he’s more bah-humbug than elfin.

As he says, “Everything these elves said has an exclamation point at the end of it!!! It makes one’s mouth hurt to speak with such forced merriment. I feel cornered when someone talks to me this way. Doesn’t everyone? … I am afraid I won’t be able to provide the grinding enthusiasm Santa is asking for. I think I’ll be a low-key sort of an elf.”

Low-key doesn’t begin to cover it.

Try sardonic. Sarcastic. Wise-ass.

Mr. Parrish plays it all with smirking relish.

He tells one misbehaving kid that Santa is going to come in his house and take away all his food and appliances. And when interpreters for the deaf come to the store to teach the elves how to sign “MERRY CHRISTMAS! I AM SANTA’S HELPER,” David learns (from his sister) how to sign ”SANTA HAS A TUMOR IN HIS HEAD THE SIZE OF AN OLIVE. MAYBE IT WILL GO AWAY TOMORROW BUT I DON’T THINK SO.”

David, played by Jason Parrish COURTESY PHOTO Scene by scene, Mr. Parrish reveals the underbelly of Christmas at Macy’s. Kids puke into the fake snow. One elf is a tease, leading on fellow elves and Santas alike. Racism rules and some parents ask to see a Santa who’s, you know, “white — like us.”

This is a delightfully subversive show, humorously dark, with unexpected twists. At 70 minutes long, it gallops along at a good clip. Maybe too quickly, at times.

Director Brian Maschka has Mr. Parrish constantly moving about the tiny stage, continually moving oversized redand white-wrapped presents. Sometimes the pace is a little too manic, and you wish at times Mr. Parrish would just sit and talk to you, draw you in by his words.

They should trust the material more; it’s certainly good enough and funny enough.

In telling this tale of a demented Christmas season, Mr. Parrish transforms into a variety of other characters, most unnamed, when delivering their dialogue.

He’s great as the various Santas, overworked managers, and as the little kids themselves. But some in this many-populated show could use a little fine-tuning. His guys from Jersey don’t sound like New Jerseyans, and his non-English speaking foreigner seems more stereotype than authentic. Some of his women are on-target, while some seem more like Milton Berle doing drag.

There are plenty of highlights in this one-man show that provides countless laughs. I won’t give them all away, but I was particularly amused by Mr. Parrish’s little striptease when he takes off his street clothes and puts on his elf outfit. (Kudos to costume designers Roberta Malcolm and Janelle Turco for providing sartorial amusement.)

“The SantaLand Diaries” is Florida Rep’s inaugural play in its new Stu- dio Theatre, located is just down the hall from the main stage. It used to be the company’s rehearsal studio, but it’s been turned it into an 80-seat theater with tiered seating.

It’s a nice, intimate space, and Mr. Parrish makes use of the audience’s proximity to include them into the show. (And the way some in the

audience were dressed, it’d be easy to believe they were part of the show. One man wore a shirt that had multiple images of Santa fishing from a motorboat and one couple, both dressed in red-andwhite Christmas sweaters, were perfectly colorcoordinated with the set, and looked as if they could be elf grandparents.)

With both the minimal props and backdrop that play multiple roles, Florida Rep has created the feel of a SantaLand within an extremely limited space.

The show is selling out quickly. In fact, it’s so popular, the venue had to add an extra week of performances.

Year after year Florida Rep’s proven it can provide a full season of quality shows on its main stage; here’s hoping it makes as much use of this new Studio Theatre and adds a full season’s worth of edgier, more experimental shows.

“The SantaLand Diaries” is a welcome alternative to much of the mushy sap we’re so often force fed at Christmastime.

Yes, sometimes there is a miracle on 34th Street and Santa is real and wishes come true.

But sometimes, the real miracle is that the elves on 34th Street don’t rise up and murder the overbearing moms and pushy, rude customers. 

If you go

>> What: “The SantaLand Diaries”
>> When: through Dec. 31
(no shows Dec. 24 or 25)
>> Where: the Studio Theatre of Florida Repertory
Theatre, 2267 Bay Street, downtown
Fort Myers, between Hendry and
Jackson
>> Cost: $38
>> Information: Call 332-4488 or go to
www.floridarep.org
>> Note: evening shows start at 8:30 p.m.;
seating is general admission.
Material is adult and not intended
for children.