Working moms need regular downtime to beat stress

Moms are perfect multi-taskers. They are juggling constantly to keep their worlds humming along at their usual hectic pace. Most are trying to finish their own work projects, as well as help their children finish a big school project due tomorrow. All of this adds up to big stress on a working mom.

"There's a limited amount of time to make dinner, check homework and

try to get everything ready for the next day," said Dr. Rebecca Bernas, a psychologist for Lee Memorial Health System. "It always feels like a stopwatch is ticking — go, go, go."

A phone call to a friend before

walking in the door lends a deep breath, and learning to apply cognitive techniques helps shed guilt. "Sometimes working moms feel every free moment off needs to be spent alone with their kids," said Dr. Bernas. "In some ways, they feel they have to keep up with stayat home moms or how their own mothers were. It's OK not to have the same amount of time as a stay-athome mom. Remember, it's quality, not quantity.

"When you are with your kids, try and stay in the present and not become distracted or preoccupied with your own stress. Take one hour at a time and realize that something's got to give, like not having a spotless home, for example."

Dr. Bernas supports scheduling time away to combat stress. Trade off babysitting shifts with other moms because a babysitter might not always be affordable. Visit online support groups because late night might be the only moment mom has alone. Then be sure mom gets enough sleep, optimally eight hours.

Encourage dad to handle what's traditionally thought of as women's work, such as doing laundry, cleaning and cooking meals. Schedule regular date nights with dad, keeping your marriage healthy.

And know compounded stress between work and home can create health problems, but exercise, particularly cardiovascular activity, tackles anxiety, or the diverse dilemma, mild depression.

"I run at five o'clock in the morning," said Dr. Bernas, also a working mom. "That's my time. While running, I think of the things I'm grateful for, things I've accomplished, work out problems in my head, work on how I'm going to handle a certain stressful situation, or I listen to my music and just zone."