NEWS OF THE WEIRD

No escape from reality

Scientology trains its leaders a good deal more aggressively than other religions do, judging by the revelations by four former

church officials to the St. Petersburg

Times in June. In an exercise concocted by founder L. Ron Hubbard, leaders who screw up are taken out to sea and forced off a gangplank with the admonition, "We commit your sins and errors to the deep and trust you will rise a better Thetan (immortal spiritual being)." The rituals can also take place in a cold swimming pool, with the transgressors in business suits. Also, to test leaders' commitment, the head Scientologist, with a boombox, conducts games of musical chairs to reward the last man sitting (using the music of Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody": "Is this the real life? / Is this just fantasy? / Caught in a landslide / No escape from reality").

People with issues

Lawyer Larry Wilder, who works part-time as city attorney for Jeffersonville, Ind., was found by police in the early morning hours of June 3, sleeping off an apparently heavy night of drinking. He was discovered in a neighbor's yard, his head and torso inside a garbage can that was tipped over on its side, with his legs sticking out. He had recently represented the city in a highprofile case in the Indiana Court of Appeals.

Questionable judgments

. A June Government Accountability Office report revealed that people on the U.S.'s suspected-terrorist list tried to buy guns or explosives on at least 1,000 occasions in the last five years and were successful 90 percent of the time. One suspect managed to buy 50 pounds of explosives. Federal law treats the suspected-terrorist list as "no-fly" and "no-visa" but not "no-gun."

. The normal way that the U.S. Bureau of Prisons transfers "low-risk" inmates between institutions is to buy them bus tickets and release them unescorted with an arrival deadline. In the last three years, reported the Las Vegas Sun in May, 90,000 inmates were transferred this way, and only about 180 absconded. Though supposedly carefully pre-screened for risk, one man still on the loose is Dwayne Fitzen, a gang-member/biker who was halfway through a 24-year sentence for cocainedealing. (Since the traveling inmates are never identified as prisoners, Greyhound is especially alarmed at the policy.)

Latest religious messages

. The Franciscan Sisters of Perpetual Prayer order in La Crosse, Wis., is now in its 131st consecutive year of around-theclock prayer, in shifts, at its Adoration Chapel. The Sisters' ritual is based on an 1865 promise by the order's superior that if God graced their ministries with success, they would build a chapel and pray non-stop.

. Ms. Dyker Neyland is one of the few parents who have successfully challenged a school board's restrictive student dress code for adolescents. Neyland persuaded the board in Irving, Texas, this spring that devout religious modesty (as prescribed in the Bible by 1 Timothy 2:9) should take precedence over the district's no-untuckedshirttails rule, in that the extended shirttail provides additional cover for her 7-yearold daughter's backside.

Crisis intervention

A certain bridge in Ghangzhou, China, has become popular for suicide (12 attempts in a 45-day period in April and May), and with each incident, traffic is slowed or halted for hours while crews attempt to talk the distraught person down or perform rescues. Mr. "Chen" was on the ledge in May, according to an Agence France-Presse dispatch, but he couldn't make up his mind about jumping. One frustrated motorist, Lai Jiansheng, ended the suspense by walking up to Chen and pushing him off. Chen survived, and Lai was arrested.

News that sounds like a joke

. In May, police in Winder, Ga. (pop. 10,200), arrested a marijuana seller with a quite-low-tech delivery system. A wireless doorbell was hidden on a tree in woods alongside a house, and when the buzzer sounded, a bucket was lowered from a second-story window. The buyer put money in, the bucket was raised, and the dope would be sent back down.

. A former Australian state deputy premier revealed in June that the federal government had so far paid out 67,000 compensation claims regarding the February brush fires, though only 2,000 homes were damaged

Least competent criminals

. Kendrick Pitts, 20, and his brother Marquise, 19, were arrested in May in the ladies' room of a small office building in Fort Lauderdale, where they were hiding in stalls after being chased by police investigating a stolen truck. Their ruse failed when they tried, using falsetto voices, to persuade the cops that the only people present were women.

. WCBS-TV (New York City) reported

(illustrated with the store's surveillance video) the unsuccessful robbery of Mohammed Sohail's deli in Shirley, N.Y., in June, in which Sohail surprised the perp with a shotgun. Suddenly, as Sohail recounted, the robber dropped to his knees, crying and begging. When the robber spontaneously even offered to convert to Islam on the spot, Sohail tossed $40 at him and sent him on his way.