Sooner or later if you live here, you'll find yourself backed up against a hurricane.

"You don't like it, do you Rocco, the storm?" asks Frank McCloud, trapped in a run-down hotel with mobsters as a hurricane crashes over them in John Huston's 1948 film, "Key Largo." "Show it your gun, why don't you? If it doesn't stop, shoot it."

Humphrey Bogart's McCloud and Edward G. Robinson's wiseguy Rocco might have befriended each other and lived happily ever after — if they'd only been armed with a copy of the Florida Weekly NBC2 Hurricane Guide.

As the six-month storm season looms, we give you not just both barrels of the anti-hurricane gun, but all barrels, including:

• What should you realistically expect your insurance company to do for you?

• What walk-in clinics, gas stations, hospitals, grocery stores and home fix-up stores are likely to be open before, during or right after a hurricane?

• What essentials do you need to have on hand for emergency provisions?

• What shelters will accept you and your pets?

• What's the best road out of here, and how far do you have to travel to reach safety?

• What are the best foods (and wines, why not?) for a fine culinary experience laid on without electricity?

And that's not the half of it.

• Who the heck is Robert Van Winkle (really) and why should he matter to you?

• If you feel like a big fat target in a Gary Larson cartoon, with a bull's-eye on your chest, take a look at our map showing where all the hurricanes in recorded history have hit in Southwest Florida.

• What are the Top 10 reasons to evacuate?

• And how do Southwest Floridians who've been through some doozies describe their hurricane experiences — in just seven words?

With these pages of practical literature in hand, you don't have to be embarrassed when some wise guy asks you what a hurricane really is — a kid, say, or a curious Yankee who expects you to be the expert since you live here. Simply consult your Florida Weekly NBC2 Hurricane Guide and deliver a clear and compelling answer.

Or you can just quote these lines from "Key Largo" and be done with it:

Ralphie: Hey Curly, what all happens in a hurricane?

Curly: The wind blows so hard the ocean gets up on its hind legs and walks right across the land.

Toots: And singin' this song: "Rain rain, go away, little Ralphie wants to play."