The Ninety Day Cookie cartel

Back in business school, when I was having my butt handed to me by courses like accounting and corporate finance, we briefly studied game theory in economics class. There, we took a look at cartels, those price-fixing, output regulating banes of the capitalist economy. The most famous, of course, is OPEC, the 12-country bad boys club of oil producing nations that has been wrangling the oil industry for decades (and, I might add, reeling in a hefty profit).

I may have forgotten many of the lessons I learned in B-school, but that section on cartels has stayed with me. Now, after consulting Steve Harvey's hilarious new dating book, "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man," I've come to the conclusion that I need to start my own cartel. It's going to go by the acronym NDC — which stands for Ninety Day Cookie — and it's open to every dateable female on the market. It works like this: Members agree not to give out the cookie (as Mr. Harvey calls it) before his suggested 90-day mark in a relationship. Why would any woman in her right mind do that? Here's why.

As Mr. Harvey says, "More likely than not, a guy who gets benefits early in a relationship, without having to put in work or prove himself, leaves and moves on to a committed relationship with a woman who puts him through some type of probationary period." Once a woman knows a man is worthy of her benefits — after 90 days — then she can pass them out "like sandwiches at a picnic."

This is why we need a cartel. Because for every woman who wants to take things slow, there are 10 who will drop trou in the first week (hell, on the first date). If dating women everywhere banded together and agreed to limit output to after three months, then men would have no choice but to put the breakes on the race to the bedroom.

Now, the problem with cartels is that they rarely work. Just take a look at the South American drug cartels, whose pricecutting and infighting have spawned horrific violence. All it takes is a single renegade to offer the goods at a lower price and people will stop shopping the cartel. In the case of the NDC, if one woman is willing to offer her cookie before 90 days, then the rest of us would be out in the cold.

But Mr. Harvey insists this is not a problem. "Of course you run the risk of scaring him off, but isn't the guy who sleeps with you without any

obligation to you, or consideration of your wants, needs, and emotional well-being, the one you want to go away?" he asks. "The man who is willing to put in the time and meet the requirements is the one you want to stick around."

He's right. And women who are willing to step outside the 90-day rule are only hurting their own chances for a lasting relationship. So, here's an open invitation to the women of the world: The NDC is now taking new memberships.

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