The Tao of Pooh

Though first published in the mid-1920s, A.A. Milne's classic "Winnie-the-Pooh" carries weight even in today's rough-and-tumble world. The story collection delivers lessons on life and friendship, often channeled through Pooh's frank and uncomplicated voice. "If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 100 minus one day, so I never have to live without you," Pooh says to Christopher Robin.

I was no Pooh fan as a child, and it wasn't until after my 13th birthday that I had my first encounter with the wisdom of the bear. It was at a sleep-away camp in western Colorado, a place of log cabins and nightly campfires where rich campers complained about their lives back in Boston or New York. Most had been shipped off for the summer by high-society parents who used the opportunity to take month-long cruises or go on safari in Africa. For my part, I had petitioned my own mother for months, convinced that five weeks in the woods would be as transformative as it is in the movies (here's a tip: it's not). Plus, my best guy friend Bill was also going, and I nursed hopeful fantasies that some time in the wilderness might elevate us to more than friends.

The camp was segregated by gender, with Bill and the rest of the boys more than two miles away, so that the experience was more estrogen-centric than I had anticipated. I shared a cabin with 16 other girls, all of us between the ages of 12 and 14. What I remember most about that time was the aura of cattiness that hung about the cabin, a hostile air teenage girls seem to seep from their pores. With all the infighting and backstabbing, there was little time for friendship. And yet, there were moments of connection I still remember, bright lights of companionship in the darkness of that pubescent summer.

After a two-night camping trip, we lounged in our bunks back at the cabin, temporarily lulled by hot showers and flushing toilets. A blond named Holly with big teeth and broad shoulders graffitied the ceiling with a magic marker. When she was done, she read the message to us.

"Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. 'Pooh,' he whispered.

'Yes, Piglet?'

'Nothing,' said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw, 'I just wanted to be sure of you.'"

We breathed it in, her message of friendship and constancy, and for a moment we believed we were close.

The moment must have stuck with me, because after the first co-ed dance, I learned from Bill that the guy Holly liked was actually into me. In the first adult romantic decision of my life, I weighed my friendship with her against the promise of a summer boyfriend, and I decided she should come first. Holly and I hugged it out, and I swore — in that serious way only 13-year-olds can — not to steal her man. I remember feeling grownup and also

aware of the power of friendship. So often, it is romance that is fleeting in our lives — in the form of boyfriends and girlfriends and even marriage — and in the end it is our friends who offer the safest haven in this turbulent world.

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