Dating in a down economy

As the stock market continues its rollercoaster ride (with more dips than surges), and many of us watch the profits in our stock portfolios disappear down the drain, the evidence of a recession grows clearer by the day. Most people are cutting spending, and I think dating is about to take a dramatic hit.

For men, especially, dating can be an expensive habit. Even in our progressive times, men shoulder the heaviest burden when it comes to a night out: They pay for dinner and a movie, and — if things are going well — drinks afterward. It adds up.

In response to the downturn in the economy, people are weighing-in on how to reduce the financial burdens of date night. Lemondrop.com offers ideas inspired by the Great Depression, simple dates like cooking a meal together or taking a walk. They've even included "necking." Planjam.com suggests — creative but creepy — visiting a cemetery and making grave rubbings together. Even the Mormons have something to say on the subject. The site Mormon Chic encourages budget minded couples to "Select a book you both enjoy (scriptures would work great) and take turns reading aloud to each other" or "Attend a local churchsponsored dance." Talk about frugal (and clean) fun.

These are all great suggestions, sure to lower the costs a man has to shell out for a romantic night. But here's what guys don't know: When it comes to dating, men appear to pay more in the moment, but women have their own high, hidden costs.

There's a joke that begins, a woman is coming home from work when she passes a bag lady on the street. The woman looks at the homeless woman's dirty fingernails and messy hair, her dry skin and bushy eyebrows. She invites her home to dinner. On the way, the two women start chatting, and the bag lady says, "Thanks for inviting me over. You have a big heart." The first woman laughs and shakes her head. "You're welcome," she says, "but my heart isn't so big. I just want to show my husband what a woman looks like when she doesn't go to the salon every four weeks."

In today's world, where "Entertainment Tonight" rules the airwaves and People magazine graces every checkout stand, the standards of looking good have gone through the roof. The money women have to put in for even a minimum of self-maintenance — eyebrow waxing, hair cuts, a manicure once in a while — is exorbitant. And that's not including the extras, like highlights and bikini waxing.

In Suze Orman's financial advice guide, "The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous & Broke," Ms. Orman suggests ways to make a tight budget stretch farther. "Wait an extra week or two to get your hair cut," she says. "Switch from a six-week cycle to an eight-week cycle, and cut out two appointments a year. Same goes for hair coloring and manicures."

Her advice is sound, and — as we all throttle back on our spending — timely. So what if a woman's hair gets shaggy or her eyebrows go an extra week without waxing? In this economy, it's not like we're going out anyway.

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