Porn for women

My good friend Hal, a gruff former cop with a thick Philadelphia accent, tells the best dating stories. He's got a collection of laugh-out-loud tales, plus a handful of heartbreakers (ask him about his Korean love, whisked away by her family and pressured into marrying another man). Recently, he told me about a one-time girlfriend who was happy to shoulder the housework burden.

 

"You ironed your own shirts?" she once asked him. "But why? It is my pleasure — no, my job — to do this for you."

In the coffee shop where we swapped stories, I snorted over my latte. "You're kidding me," I said. "Did you marry her?"

Hal laughed and shook his head. "Nah. But I made it last as long as I could. A woman like that, you keep around."

Wouldn't we all? Of course, in the traditional dating structure, women often get stuck with the grunt work while men reap the benefits. I often wonder how sweet life would be if the situation were reversed? One of my favorite Dilbert cartoons tackles just this subject. On a date, Dilbert's fluffy-haired coworker Alice asks a bright-eyed male companion, "If we married, would you mind being a stay-at-home father?"

He opens his eyes wide and clasps his cartoon hands. "I love children. That would be a very rewarding lifestyle."

"OK, now imagine there aren't any kids, and you're basically my unpaid servant."

He beams. "Could I iron?"

As it turns out, if you're in a relationship and angling for more (more fulfillment, more sex), housework may be the key. For men, that means doing more chores around the home, and for women, it means delegating more work to your man. Joshua Coleman, author of "The Lazy Husband: How to Get Men to Do More Parenting and Housework," said in an interview with CNN, "When a man does housework, it feels to the woman like an

expression of caring and concern, which then physically reduces her stress." Women aren't wired like men, who use sex to burn off stress, Coleman says. Women need to first be relaxed in order to get into the mood. A man helping out around the house points her in that direction.

Needfurther confirmation? Take a look at the aptly titled, "Porn for Women," a book whose pages have sparked hallelujahs from women across the country. Each centerfold features a well-dressed man and captions like, "I know. Let's take you shoe shopping" and "I don't have to have a reason to bring you flowers." In one scene, a muscled man stands in front of the kitchen sink, strapping on a pair of rubber gloves. "I like to get to these things before I have to be asked," the caption reads. On the next page, another stud totes a bag of trash alongside the lines, "As long as I have legs to walk on, you'll never have to take out the garbage."

They're good for a laugh, but maybe there is some truth to these images. As men have come to expect porn star behavior in the bedroom, maybe women should expect this sort of action in the household. Ironing, like foreplay, would be an excellent place to start.

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