Salons often get to the root of domestic abuse first

COURTESY PHOTO Jennifer Gray, owner of Chameleon Hair Studio & Spa, is trained to spot signs of domestic abuse. Tina Martellacci-Haworth might spot the signs of domestic violence in some women before their doctors or even their friends and family. Like many hairdressers, she learns some personal things about her clients over casual conversation and through up-close observation.

"A lot of times it's little things," when it comes to noticing telltale signs on body and personality, Ms. Martellacci-Haworth said. "It's squeeze marks on their hands or wrists…" Being aware of the problem puts the owner of Paramount Hair Studios in Estero in a unique position to urge those clients to seek help and leave their violent relationships.

Southwest Florida agencies like Abuse Counseling & Treatment in Fort Myers and the Shelter for Abused Women & Children in Naples hope to fashion the bond between stylist and client as a first step toward getting that help. But they know they must tread carefully.

"You don't want to tell them 'Hey, your partner's a jerk, I'd knock him out.' The victims can't do that," said Colleen Henderson, community education coordinator for ACT. So ACT sends counselors out to salons to make presentations about what hairstylists and other operators should do when a client exhibits signs of abuse. "You can't be judgmental of that victim and why they don't leave," Ms. Henderson said.

COURTESY PHOTO Tina Martellacci-Haworth The local initiatives are part of a Chicago based program called Cut It Out, which started in 2002. With oversight by the National Cosmetology Association and funding from Southern Living magazine, Cut It Out has given cosmetology schools in all 50 states the resources to train students on spotting signs of abuse and what to do about it. Cut It Out also distributes posters, brochures and other promotional materials, such as nail files with abuse hotline numbers, to salons for placement in their restrooms and waiting areas.

"Our goal is to expand to every salon and cosmetology school in the country in order to raise awareness of domestic violence," said Cut It Out founder Dianne Mooney.

"It is a wonderful curriculum for the salon professional," said Jim Cox, director of the American Association of Cosmetology Schools. "People in this particular profession are in a unique situation to observe and help direct potential victims of abuse to the proper resources," Mr. Cox added. "The key part of this is to tell the hairdressers: You're not a psychiatrist, you're not a nurse, but you can at least give phone numbers and resources."

At Chameleon Hair Studio & Spa in south Fort Myers, owner Jennifer Gray directs clients to the ACT hotline if she sees signs of domestic violence. Like most stylists, she has her stories of clients who were abused.

"Years ago, I had a client who was very chipper," Ms. Gray said. "But when she got married and came back from her honeymoon, she was very depressed… She'd become withdrawn, childlike. It took her a long time to admit anything. But I could see the signs — her husband would call here just raging, 'When did she leave?' "

If she suspected one of her clients was being abused now, Ms. Gray said, she might try to head off the problem more quickly. "I would probably try to ask more questions — tactfully… maybe ask about dating or their personal life and put my opinion in if I thought it was needed, and share stories about the women I've known who have been abused."

One in three women will be physically assaulted in an adult relationship, according to the Florida Coalition Against Domestic Violence.

Paramount salon owner Ms. Haworth said, "Every year, I have one that sticks in my mind." She has held annual fundraisers for the Cut It Out program and ACT at her salon since 2005, when her sister was beaten to death by her husband.

"We raise money to teach beauticians to listen and see the signs," she said.

One of Ms. Haworth's longtime clients, who is in her late 50s, has two stories of her own about domestic abuse. One story took place more than 30 years ago, in a relationship that lasted almost two decades. "I knew I had to get out or he was going to kill me," the client said.

More recently, she left another relationship at the first signs of violence. Having her hairdresser as a friend to discuss it with helped. "Sometimes you can help other people just by talking to them and telling them they're not alone," she said.

The client of Ms. Haworth's said there is a pattern to all the stories of domestic violence.

"It starts very subtly, with pushing and shoving, and then it accelerates," she said. "And when you're young , you don't know any better and you don't tell anybody. And it's hard to get out of because you lose your self esteem. Basically, it's always the same story. They feel controlled, helpless."

But maybe not quite so helpless when their hairdresser lends an attentive ear.