How to prepare yourself, and your mailbox, for the season of giving

I met with an elderly woman who asked me to help her with a problem. Her husband was ill for three months, and during that time, she was unable to open much of her mail. So she saved it, filling two shopping bags with dozens of solicitation letters from various charities. Some of the letters were from organizations she had given to for many years; others were from new and unknown organizations. Several envelopes bore the words "Urgent: We Need Your Renewal."

This woman is a lifetime donor. Every time she makes a gift, she writes down the charity and the amount in what she calls her "charity folder." She shared her list with me of dozens of $10, $25 and $50 gifts. She told me about the frustrations of receiving so much unwanted mail and her confusion over what charities to assist.

"Help me figure this out," she pleaded. "I want to support so many organizations, but I can't keep this organized. What can I do?"

As the year end approaches, charities will mail millions of solicitation letters to donors and supporters. Almsgiving is a common tradition of the holidays. It is also a time for tax considerations for those who want to receive deductions for charitable giving. Sometimes, however, requests for help can be overwhelming to donors who are unsure about how to best respond to the multiple appeals for support.

Here are some suggestions for creating a meaningful giving experience during the holiday season:

1. Focus on your values — When you identify your values, it gives you a principled reason to say "no" to charitable requests that are not within your value system. In this situation, we looked at her overall giving. Several giving patterns emerged: higher education, women's issues and her desire to help local organizations as opposed to national or regional charities. She was able to identify some important values and internal motivations for giving. From this, we were able to identify four agencies that were closely tied to her value systems.

2. Increase the impact of your gift — By identifying a few organizations, she was able to increase her level of giving to the charities of most importance to her. Instead of small gifts to dozens of charities, she realized she could make larger, more

substantial gifts to a

few organizations and thereby, provide more impact.

3. Practice saying "no" — It's ok to say "no" and to discard solicitation letters from charities that do not fall within your value system. She indicated that she received "urgent" renewal letters for gifts that she was certain she had already mailed. We discussed ways to eliminate unwanted mailings, either by calling the charity to request to be removed from a mailing list or by asking to receive only one appeal each year instead of multiple appeals. A recycling bin can be your best friend when sorting the mail!

In the coming weeks, your mailbox will be filled with appeals and requests from dozens of worthy organizations. Take a moment to contemplate your role in helping the others. No matter at what level you choose to give, we can all enjoy the process of thoughtful and meaningful philanthropy.

The Southwest Florida Community Foundation has been supporting the communities of Lee, Charlotte, Collier, Glades and Hendry through endowed funds for nearly 32 years. With assets of more than $57 million and over 320 endowed funds, the Community Foundation has provided more than $30 million in grants and scholarships to the communities it serves.

For more information, call 274-5900, or visit their Web site at www.floridacommunity.com.