The Naples Players' 'Goodbye Girl' fails to connect

Sometimes, attending theater is like going on a blind date. You hope you'll have a great time, but you don't want to have unrealistic expectations, only to have them dashed.

Seeing "The Goodbye Girl" at the Sugden Community Theatre recently was kind of like going on a bad blind date — not a horrendously bad date, but not a love connection either.

The show contains some laughs and some nice moments, but nothing to really grab your heart.

It's a curious selection for the Naples Players; the book is flimsy (yes, it's Neil Simon, but it's Neil Simon ultra-lite.) And the music, by Marvin Hamlisch, is unremarkable. There's nothing you leave the theater humming. The lyrics, by David Zippel, were, in the beginning, inaudible, as the sound wasn't balanced and the orchestra drowned out the singers' voices for much of the first part of Act I. When I finally could hear them, there were some clever lines, but also many that sounded like self-help clichés.

But still, if you have the right actors, they can make fluff palatable. They know the material's thin, but are able to make fluff as sweet as cotton candy.

Director Dallas Dunnagan has moved the action into the present day, but that doesn't update the humor, unfortunately. Many of the jokes are old and stale. It's as if the show is dressed in a 1970s powder blue prom suit with wide lapels… and thinks it's hip.

Many of Simon's plays are set in the past and still work today; unfortunately, "The Goodbye Girl" isn't as lucky.

The entire premise of the musical is unrealistic: Paula (Laura Needle) and her 12-year-old daughter Lucy (an incredible Mariel Weinand) are left yet again by another in Paula's long string of unreliable boyfriends. Unbeknownst to them, this one has sublet their apartment to his actor friend Elliot (Paul Little).

So Paula and Elliot decide to share the apartment. The plot, of course, is that the two hate each other, then fall madly in love.

But the two leads, though talented, have no sparks. In their scenes of animosity, Mr. Little is just too sweet and amiable. He's not sarcastic enough, his lines aren't cutting. Ms. Needle's character could use some more depth and vulnerability. I don't believe she's been left by a string of men.

Miss Weinand, as the daughter, is fabulous. A natural-born actor, she lights up the stage every time she's on it. She portrays her character as a true New York kid, with sass and attitude. Sometimes kids are cast in shows just for cuteness' sake. But Miss Weinand has true talent.

Kristin Cassidy, as Mrs. Crosby the landlord, has a small but recurring role and is a bright spot in this dullness. Though her role is minimal, she makes the most of it, getting laughs with just one line. You watch her and think, "Oh, this is how it's done."

Jim Corsica, as an off-the-wall director, also garnered some much-needed laughs. He wants Elliot to play Richard III as "a man playing a woman playing a man," and, in his crazy accent, refers to the role as "Ree Chard the Turd."

The off-off-Broadway version of "Richard III" was a high point of the evening. Elliot endures every actor's nightmare: performing in a show that's a disaster, that doesn't highlight your talent.

Act II of the musical picks up somewhat, with more laughs than the first act. One great visual scene was the performance by bad food: a singing and dancing cupcake, French fries and bacon and eggs. Those costumes, by Dot Auchmoody, are over-the-top, but unfortunately, the humor isn't.

There were many times during this musical when I wished I were laughing hysterically, unrestrained. But the show provides only a few good laughs, and mostly chuckles. When you're watching a romantic comedy, you don't want to be saying to yourself: "How come I'm not laughing? Why isn't this funnier?"

The musical hits new lows — it actually introduces a Richard Simmons-like character called Ricky Simpson (played by a game Jack Weld.) The hyper exercise guru stopped being the punch line to jokes ages ago, thank goodness. Thrown gratuitously into the show, it just seems like a cheap gay joke.

Matt Flynn's numerous sets give this show a strong New York flavor. Especially of note is the dance studio in a New York loft with an oversized clock outside, and the apartment building rooftop, with corrugated metal walls and a makeshift moon and stars.

But Paula's apartment has no personality, and I kept wondering why a woman in 2008 would have an apartment decorated in tacky mid-70s styles. And while Mr. Flynn's subway entrance looks very realistic, I kept looking for some more grit and grime, maybe some newspapers, cigarette butts and crushed coffee cups underfoot.

Ultimately, "The Goodbye Girl" fails to connect. I was hoping to fall in love with it, but although it made me laugh a little, there were no sparks.

If you go

>>What: The Goodbye Girl

>>When: through Nov. 8

>>Where: Sugden Community Theatre, 701 Fifth Ave. South, Naples

>>Cost: 35 for adults, $10 for students 18 and younger; also available is a special "dinner and a show" package (with dinner at Vergina Restaurant) for $58.

>>Info: Call (239) 263-7990 or go to www.naplesplayers.com