Desire begins in the mind

When I knew Eric, who's probably about 27 now, he could have any woman he wanted. Surprisingly, he wasn't especially good looking. The last time I saw him, he had a shock of pale hair that fell over a toohigh forehead. I remember clear blue eyes framed by pleasant but unremarkable features. He was tall and more or less gangly, except for a slight paunch that I once rubbed in a late night makeout session in a hostel in Germany (even I couldn't resist his charms).

We stayed in touch for years, and each time we talked, he was dating a new, more exquisite girl.

"Elana is Russian," he said on the phone one night, chuckling softly into the receiver. "You should see what happens when she lays on her back. Her boobs are so big, they just fall all over the place."

When I first met Eric, I had a hard time identifying what made him so damn attractive. I tried unsuccessfully to point to a single feature or personality quirk that gave him such wiles with women. The answer, it turned out, was far more cerebral: Eric is fiercely intelligent. His brain works lightning-fast, on an intellectual plane few of us touch. He doesn't flaunt his IQ or speak in the convoluted jargon of academia. Rather, he carries his intelligence as an aura. It broadcasts from his brain like a radio frequency, an electric allure that draws women to the bright flame of his mind.

Apparently, Eric is not alone in this phenomenon. In the film "Dangerous Beauty", the audience watches as a young Venetian woman, Veronica, transforms into the city's most powerful courtesan.

"Desire begins in the mind," Veronica's mother (who was once herself a notoriously skilled prostitute) instructs her young tutor. She insists that Veronica study history and geography, encouraging her to write poetry and learn Latin. Veronica is thrilled to discover that she has been granted access to the city's great library, forbidden to wives but open to courtesans.

Later in the film, Veronica threatens to leave the flesh trade and follow her heart. Her mother decries her mistake, saying that Veronica has the power to supersede her as one of Venice's greatest lovers.

"Not because you're prettier than me. Because you're not. Not because you're a better lay than me. Because you're not that, either. But because you're smarter than me."

Steve Santagati, a self-inflated playboy who gives nononsense advice on guys in his book "The Manual," agrees that having a quick brain is just as important as having a hot bod. In a series of TV stints, including Oprah and the Today Show, he gives women tips on dressing sexier.

"A lacy camisole is good," he says. "It makes guys think of underwear." High heels, too, are a must on his list, as are skirts and dresses. But even Santagati, who loves the ladies and stresses the importance of showing some skin, says, "Ladies, you have to attract him with your body. But keep him with your mind."

Contact Artis

>>Send your dating tips, questions, and disasters to: sandydays@floridaweekly.com