Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

King Features
Running Time: 124 minutes
MPAA rating: PG-13

What does it say about a film that an hour into it, I had to pick up my Nintendo DS to play "Age of Empires" to stay entertained? I went into "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" with the lowest of expectations, and they were met.

The film takes place in the 1950s during the height of the Red Scare. An old friend of Indy's (John Hurt) has gone missing in Peru. Soviets are involved. And there is a frantic chase to see whether Indy or the Russkies will gain possession of a mysterious crystal skull that may hold the secret to a legendary city of gold -- and the Roswell Incident.

Yeah. Let's just say there's a point in this movie where entertainment ends and George Lucas begins. And I don't mean that in a good way. The only way this plot could get dumber would be the inclusion of Jar-Jar Binks.

That said, Cate Blanchett was delicious. She really chewed up the scenery as the Soviet parapsychologist Irina Spalko. I was so hoping that at some point she'd refer to Harrison Ford and Shia LeBeouf as "Moose and Squirrel."

Harrison Ford also is fantastic. How could he not be? He knows that character inside and out, and his portrayal of the older, experienced Indiana Jones is perfect. Ford carries this creaky, convoluted and often ridiculous movie on his back and tries to inject a little class and humanity to this CGI-overladen mess.

I should add that it was a delight to see Karen Allen again, reprising her role as Marion Ravenwood. Despite more than a quarter century since her first appearance in "Raiders of the Lost Ark," Allen looks like she may have aged a week. Her performance is sparkling. You could tell she was having the time of her life working alongside Ford again.

The long and short of it is this: Three great performances, two spiffy chase scenes, and that's about it for the Good Parts. The rest is pretty boring or stupid. But it doesn't matter what I say about the film. It's going to make a bajillion dollars, and millions of people will see it for nostalgia's sake.

I truly hope you enjoyed it more than I did. And if you haven't seen it yet, wait for the DVD and rent it. I don't think it's worth paying full-price admission at a theater.

(c) 2007 King Features Synd., Inc.