Seven days of Yes

In her real-life based book, "The Year of Yes," author Maria Headley spends 365 days embracing the affirmative. Tired of the usual New York crowd and creeps (hello, Fort Myers?), Headley decides to revamp her entire approach to the dating scene. Whenever someone - anyone - asks her out, she says yes.

"Yes to conversation, yes to dinner, yes maybe to a movie, yes to a bar," Headley writes. (There are, however, "no other guaranteed affirmatives." Yes to sex is not mandatory, although it happens frequently enough in the book.) The only hard and fast rules on who she won't accept a date from are married men, criminals, and underage boys (she's propositioned by a high-schooler).

Headley’s first outing is with the building’s superintendent, a recovering addict who calls her mamacita and rings her buzzer for an hour straight the day after their date. She shares coffee with a man from Cyprus whom she meets at the grocery store. He has emerald eyes and a perfect, toothy smile. Over the foam of his latte, he asks if she likes to bite, specifically, below the belt. A millionaire Frenchman offers to take her to Paris on his private jet, all while unzipping his fly next to Headley in the elevator. A swarthy art-lover with a Spanish accent woos her over tapas and rioja. Later, Headley runs into him at his day job, where the Spaniard act is gone and he sounds decidedly from New Jersey.

 

Of course, by the end of her year-long challenge (yes, this is a spoiler, but it should come as no surprise), Headley does, in fact, find true love. And, of course, he's the type of guy she would normally have turned down.

There's a message in this book for everyone, although women especially are guilty of the quick no. Most of us have been so conditioned to decline potential suitors, we deny an invitation halfway in the making. We reject advances left and right, but then we wonder why we can't get a date.

 

Headley's philosophy is to be more open, less judgmental, to give the world - if not everyone, then, at least a broader range of people - a fair shot at your heart. She believes that in a synchronistic, The Secret-type way the universe will conspire to send love in your direction as long you're open to the idea. If you've been practicing the Tao of yes, then you'll be ready to say "absolutely" when Mr. or Ms. Right invites you out.

With a slew of dateless weekends looming on the horizon, I've decided to take Headley's advice. A year is an awfully long time, but why not a week of yes? For seven days, I'm going to put my habitual "no" on the backburner, turn a blind eye to the usual ticks that make me decline an invite, and see what happens if "yes" is the only dating response out of my mouth. Yes to coffee, yes to a day at the beach, and a resounding yes to the limitless possibilities of trying new things.

If you'd like to join me in the yes-athon, drop me an email at sandydays@ floridaweekly.com. I'd love to hear your experiences - good and bad - and see if saying yes can really make a difference.

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