News that sounds like a joke

• The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency made a special announcement in October that it is once again safe to eat squirrels in New Jersey. (In January, EPA had discovered lead in tissue samples from local squirrels, but later said the lead might have come from defects in the sampling machine.) • Karl Marx's writings glorifying communism (though Western capitalists regard it as grim and joyless) may well have reflected merely his alienation from society due to a lifelong series of excruciatingly painful boils, according to a recent British Journal of Dermatology article. In an 1867 letter, Marx wrote, "The bourgeoisie will remember my carbuncles until their dying day." • As protesters gathered at colleges around the country to criticize federal budget cutbacks that would raise the price of subsidized birth control at student health services, one University of New Mexico student described the imminent horror to Albuquerque's KFRQ-TV: "(Students shouldn't) have to make a choice between their birth control and their cell phone bill or their birth control and their gym membership ..."