Still trying to buy a game

You're just finishing the first month of reciprocal season here in Southwest Florida, and like many of us, have already enjoyed the challenges of a number of local courses. By now you're lamenting, "the fairways are better at my home course," and "these greens are too fast", or "why are the out of bounds soooo penal here?"

You rationalize - It's not my game, it's clearly the equipment that's making my handicap climb like an egret avoiding a worm burner off the tee. Oh yes, it's been said many a time, "If I could've bought a game, I'd have done it long ago." But, that never keeps us from trying.

Like me, you coyly wander into your favorite pro shop, feign casual interest, and eventually ask to try the newest game-saving demo club. You know the one - that double MOI, physics reversing, square headed, alien graphite, extra titanium, multi layered composite driver with nanotechnology.

You find yourself compelled to head to the range immediately. Do not stop at "GO", do not collect $200.

Off flies the head cover and you unleash that demon swing responsible for all of your golfing ills. Ahhh, that's better - look at the mother fly off the clubface. It's gotta be 30 yards further than my old stuff and always lands where I think I'm aiming. I'm sold, gotta have it, it's mine.

COURTESY PHOTO Buying the right golf equipment takes a plan. But continually buying a game takes a plan.

Never fear, just prepare for what will be an extended two-pronged campaign. First, the seller, the purveyor of this potentially lifechanging demo club must be appropriately "fertilized" as my old grandfather used to say. You want that specific demo club, and you prefer to pay nothing to get it. Second, the decider, she who must be obeyed, will eventually have to agree to any purchase. She must want you to have it, and it has to be her idea.

Let's begin with the pro shop.

Introduction of most new technological innovations in golf equipment occurs at the annual PGA Merchandise Show each January in Orlando. Your pro will eventually sell that demo club at reduced cost, but not before the new triple MOI, physics altering, triangular headed, demo club hits the market. Once your demo club encompasses old technology, you get a new game at a discount.

During reciprocal season, you must use effective tactics to ensure pseudo-ownership of your demo club. I personally employ the "CART" process to wear down the seller and to lay claim to the club. CART stands for Checkout, Advocates, Regripping, and Testimonials.

Constant checkout of your demo delight from the pro shop limits exposure to potential encroachers desiring the same club. Advocates, other golfers who mercifully testify your having the club benefits homeowners who no longer suffer your slice, often impresses a club pro. Regripping your demo club with your favorite wrap is like a dog marking its territory - pay the pro shop for the bright pink. Testimonials, specifically yours, denigrating the club when others show interest routinely limits use.

Now, when initiating contact with the more challenging of the two, the decider, you must use guile and cunning. If you lack any semblance of these attributes, your only option is the truth, which is less than 50 percent effective.

Engage the decider in a comfortable setting and sell her on how your combined efforts, specifically the CART tactics, yield the club of your life for pennies on the dollar. Seek input, gain acceptance, and provide feedback. Smile often, but remember, overt mirth or happiness during negotiations conveys weakness and a lack of commitment.

Buying a game is expensive, but gaming a buy is shear fun. Buying A Demo Club >>What: Purchase of golf demo clubs at deep discount. >>Where: Most pro shops and golf outlets in Southwest Florida. >>When: After the PGA Merchandise Show 17- 19 January 2008. >>How Much: Typically 60-75 percent off depending on condition.